Blokey Bloke Accountant Makes A Real Point Of Telling Mechanic That Kia Rio Is The Wife’s Car
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local manly man has brought on a few subtle grins down at a Betoota Heights mechanic today, after carrying on just a...
Disintegrating Football From 2003 Will Be Good After A Pump, Says Dad
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Father of three Cameron Hughes has embraced tradition today by refusing to throw away a disintegrating 18-year-old football as he believes it will...
Bachelorette Pinballs From Worrying She’ll Never Have A Boyfriend To Worrying She’ll Lose Current Boyfriend
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
After years of creeping self-doubt that there was something severely defective about her personality, Olivia Wells has finally managed to score...
Straight Guy In Gay Bar Still Yet To Learn He Doesn’t Have To Smile At Everyone
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Local straight man Brendan Cootes was taken by his girlfriend Elise Ng to a gay bar yesterday, something that was a bit of...
Kookaburras Really Reacting Quite Inappropriately To Elderly Woman Having A Fall
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A shocking display of disrespect to one of the town’s oldest and most respected figures took place in Betoota Ponds today.
Head of the...
Pet Appearing Out Of Nowhere To Lick Leg Ignites Fight Or Flight Response
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
Though living alone can be quite peaceful and allow the opportunity to be an absolute pig without judgment, it does have its shortcomings....
Bloke At Job Interview Forced To Act Like He Cares About Company’s Founding Fathers
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A perfectly normal man had to suffer a corporate indignity today during a job interview at a company that must really think they...
Local Woman Investigates Boyfriend’s Snapchat Score After Being Left On Read For Half An Hour
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
As she absentmindedly chews at a loose piece of skin next to her thumb, a nervous Selena Roberts flips her phone over for...
Young Liberals Expel Member After Finding Out He Isn’t A Christian Weirdo Who Sucks At Sport
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local Betoota bloke, Baden Corkerson has today had his Young Liberals membership terminated, after it was revealed that he isn't a psycho Christian...
Melbourne Man Interested To See What 72 Hours Looks Like At Revs With These Seated-Only Rules
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
After nearly a full year of locked-down days, one Melbourne man says he can't wait for the clock to strike midnight tonight.
Speaking...
