Bureau Of Meteorology Declares Hot Girl Summer To Be Postponed Until 2022
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
In sad news, the Bureau of Meteorology has today declared that hot girl summer is postponed until 2022, disappointing many young women who...
PM Lies And Says He Told Albo Of His Plans For Hawaii Holiday He Tried To Hide During Bushfires
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Yesterday, The Betoota Advocate started the week with an exciting news story that investigated the rapidly shifting public perception of Prime Minister Scott...
Brisbane Real Estate Agent Forecasts A Bitta Snow On Friday Too If Ya Know What I’m Sayin Boys
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
A Brisbane real estate agent has today shown he may have a career in meteorology, by suggesting that Queensland might experience a bit...
Pope Francis Walks Out Of Interview With Ch7 After Reporter Admits He Hasn’t Read The Bible
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
After a rough 24 hours, Channel 7 has taken another hit today, with a second high-profile guest walking out of an interview.
Pope...
Local Woman Hesitates In Front Of Favourite Store In Fear Of Being Relentlessly Pursued By Teenage Floor Manager
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
As local woman Natalie Stanton makes her way through the CBD and towards her favourite store, she can feel her anxiety rising.
You’d think...
Local Bloke Finds Himself Drunk Enough To Eat Rubbery Slice Of Pizza From Kebab Shop Hot Box
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The familiar grease stain of a night well spent has been identified by Betoota resident Jeremy Kemp (35), who shared with us his...
Country Town Hospital In Wine Region Not Struggling For Rural Placements
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The once-struggling Channel Country General Hospital in Bedourie is reportedly sorting through a backlog of thousands of rural placement requests.
This follows the area's...
Man Who Led Australian Cricket Out Of Ball-Tampering Scandal Finds Himself Caught Up In One
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The captain of the Australian cricket team has dropped a sensational announcement this afternoon, revealing that he will be standing down after sexting...
Tim Smith Turns Up To Victorian Parliament House Protests In Horned Helmet And Fur Hat
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
After a quiet week or so since crashing his car while pissed, Tim Smith MP has made a sensational return to the spotlight....
Local Toff That Polishes 3 Bottles Of Red Each Night Deplores Bogans Rejecting Medical Advice
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A resident of the leafy inner Melbourne suburb of Toorak has today proposed a bold new idea.
The old toff who has spent...
