Report Finds Blokes Who Wear This Are 87% More Likely To Apologise By Saying ‘I’m Sorry You Feel That Way’
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn in-depth study of dating trends has confirmed what many women have suspected - that Dior Sauvage is the preferred scent of...
“Millennials Are So Cringe” Says Gen Z Whose Entire Wardrobe Is A Knockoff Of Early 2000s Fashion
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who was born post Shrek has had the audacity to talk shit about millennials today, despite her entire wardrobe consisting...
North Melbourne Kangaroos Supporter Has The Hide To Criticise The Matilda’s Consistency
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The North Melbourne Football Club has once again been disgraced on the national stage.
With the season just weeks away, the lowly Kangaroos...
Supermarket Egg Shortage Linked To Major Spike Of Roid Rage Incidents In Nation’s Big Lifting Gyms
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactSteroid use has skyrocketed nationwide as Australia feels the brunt of the egg shortage crisis, with many supermarkets facing empty shelves this...
Mix Of Jealousy And Pride Washes Over Local Father As Son Watches ‘Cool Runnings’ For The First Time
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A wave of pensive nostalgia, pangs of pride, and profound envy has washed over a local father as he...
Coalition Accidentally Announce They Will Also Support Labor’s Policy Of Not Hiding Your $300m Net Wealth In A Blind Trust
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Coalition has spent the past four weeks throwing their support behind some of Labor's most popular policies moving...
Vatican Quickly Running Out Of Pleasant, Unalarming Adjectives To Describe How Pope Spent The Night
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Pope spent a 'tranquil' evening last night according to The Vatican, which was after a 'peaceful' one the...
Report: Pokies Just Dancing Fruits For The Elderly
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA groundbreaking new study has confirmed what many suspected: Pokie machines, often viewed as a plague to RSLs nationwide, are in fact...
Office NPC Says Get Jumper On My Torso Right Now!
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An account director at some forgettable advertising agency has splashed out this morning, securing an ugly Patagonia jumper that...
“There’s A Barrel With Gupta’s Name On It” Declares SA Government
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The South Australian government has declared that embattled steel magnate Sanjeev Gupta is now officially on the chopping block,...
