Grown Man With New Laser Pointer Has Weekend Plans Sorted
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Grown man Curtis Dyson (33) officially has his weekend plans sorted after purchasing a new laser pointer.
Stopping at his local two-dollar shop to...
Dad Validates The Existence Of Liquorice
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A recent survey by the CSIRO has confirmed that dads are the only people out there validating the existence of liquorice.
The study began...
#BelieveAllWomenButLetsHearFromGeoffreyRushsBarristersFirst Goes Viral In Inner-City Sydney
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the Geoffrey Rush defamation continues down in Sydney this week, inner-city elites right across the two-zero postcodes are carefully navigating through...
Sharp Uptick In Activewear On Campus A Strong Indication It’s Exam Time
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Thanks to the strong and increased presence of activewear at the University Of Betoota this month, The Advocate can confirm that exams are in fact...
Sunburnt Toowoomba Man Somehow Finds Himself At The Theatre After Big Day At The Track
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
It is still yet to be confirmed how a borderline comatose young man has managed to find his way somewhere this evening.
28-year-old Council...
SportsBet’s Commitment To No BS Cup Day Includes Planned Upgrade Instead Of Taking Bets
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Punters all up and down the Betoota Turf Club beer garden are on the cusp of folding their iPhones...
Bloke Pre-Drinking Outside Flemington Dressed In Exact Same Shit He Wore To Court Last Week
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Like many others around the country, Dane Rathbone has frocked up in his best today.
One of the biggest days on the nation's calendar,...
Virgin Say They Will Also Salute All Hospitality Staff Who Work A Melbourne Cup
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Bartenders, waitresses, cellarmen, managers, licensees, glassies and other assorted hospitality staff who've served during a Melbourne Cup will be saluted by Virgin Australia...
Bar Staff Phone Their Loved Ones Before Going To War Against The Tarocash Army Today
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Nearly a thousand infantrymen from the Imperial Tarocash Army are expected to invade the Betoota Turf Club general admission area today to watch...
Essential Worker’s Current Monday Afternoon Existential Crisis Might Stem From Huge Weekend
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A youngish man broke the monotony of an afternoon from hell by retiring to the restroom for the sole purpose of looking himself...
