LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Old habits are in need of Victorian-style assisted dying laws in Betoota Heights as only child Mark Bright (26) is still not letting any of his friends play as Yoshi.

“Bags first controller,” stated the man who would inherit 100% of his parent’s estate.

“Get ready to be creamed.”

Having kept is childhood Nintendo 64 in good condition (reported to be his second after a 1999 red cordial related incident) Bright has kept the tradition of inviting people over to play video games in order to keep loneliness at bay even just for a little while.

As grateful as the young man may be for company, he has not been able to let go of his tradition as playing as Yoshi everytime he plays Mario Kart.

“I just win as Yoshi ok. Hurry up and pick Luigi so we can get started.”

Bright’s monopoly on Yoshi however does not seem to Super Smash Brothers where the adult only child is reported to play as Kirby every time.

“Well as Yoshi I keep going off the edge. Kirby, can’t get it off the edge. Anyway, I’m picking the level, let’s go.”

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