Nation’s Hipsters Glad C.U.B Boycott Is Over, Can Now Return To Drinking Awful Beer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Following a monumental win for for workers rights, the unions have today called for “an immediate end” to an ongoing boycott of Carlton United Brewers beer and cider products

Earlier this year, thousands of people rallied in support of the workers, who fell under the controversial Catalyst Services Enterprise Agreement 2014, which was rolled out at CUB’s Abbotsford plant in Melbourne.

Local hipster, Banjo Clementè says he started drinking VB and Melbourne Bitter several years ago, after CUB went undercover to win the 2014 Surry Hills Craft Beer Award – and he’s excited the boycott is over.

“I guess that whole working class theme really worked for me back then. I was going through a bit of an Auscore phase”

“But then I was put between a rock and hard place when it came down to actually supporting the working class”

“It’s like, I like drinking working class beers and I wasn’t overly interested in joining in on the boycott just because a few people got sacked. Anyway I had a few friends joining in on the boycott so I thought I’d tag along”

Last month it was reported that Australian hipsters were torn between joining the boycott and drinking Melbourne Bitter ironically. As many felt their duty to working class Australia only really extended to drinking the same beer as they do.

Banjo says he is very relieved to hear the boycott is over and can’t wait to get stuck into a low-quality, mass-produced ‘longie’ of beer.

“The moment mum puts some money into my account this afternoon, I’ll be buying a full slab of Melbourne Bitter”