Retailers around the country are today enduring the last minute dash of the nation’s deadshits who thought they had another couple days til Christmas.

With Christmas Eve upon us, even the 2020 pandemic could not stop the age old ritual of blokes jumping on a bus into town to spend far too much money on presents that are supposed to look a lot of thought went into them.

The ASX reports nationwide retail spending has dipped over the last few days as Sydney battled a fresh outbreak of COVID-19 that threatened to derail Christmas.

However, with cases steadying in the Northern Beaches of Sydney, the main streets of towns around the country are today more alive than ever.

Department stores and niche beauty outlets are currently being rushed by bozos who made the fatal mistake of getting the missus an ironing board a couple years ago, and will blow their entire December budget to avoid that kind of drama again.

“Reckon my sons are still into those Wahu footballs?” asks Craig, a plumber from Betoota Heights with four kids, as he drills the teenage girl working at CityBeach with questions.

“Bugger it, I’ll just pony up for a PlayStation. That will fix em”

“And for the wife… What do you reckon?”

“Maybe a voucher for Lorna Jane?”



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