The elitist Victorian sense of humour – that makes fun of both Aboriginal people and toothless bogans – has taken a hit today.

This comes as Eddie McGuire has stood down as President of his beloved AFL club, Collingwood F.C, effective immediately.

McGuire is held as the poster-child for the Victorian superiority complex that sees them hilarious ridicule both minorities and the working class – this appointment is especially ironic considering Collingwood has only just shaken off their own ‘toothless bogan’ reputation.

Right across Melbourne, hundreds of thousands of footy fans are condemning this new ‘woke cancel culture’ that they believe has seen their messiah boned from his role as President of the most racist sporting organisation in the country.

McGuire had been due to step down at the end of 2021, but will instead leave the job today.

This follows an open letter signed by countless sponsors and former Collingwood greats urged him to do so. None of whom would be classified as ‘woke’.

The Collingwood board has reportedly spent the last week discussing whether McGuire’s presidency was still viable in the wake of his nightmare press conference, in which he announced that a report outlining the football club’s history of engrained racism was a ‘proud day for the club’.

This is McGuire’s second retirement from the public eye in 6 months.

The game show host pulled up stumps on his breakfast radio career last year, ending nearly two decades of racist gaffes and misogyny that often resulted in death threats for female journalists and Aboriginal footballers.

Victorians are heartbroken today, as McGuire’s retirement from sports administration now means that Millionaire Hot Seat is the last remaining bastion of their favourite type of casual racism.

“I never thought this day would come where I wouldn’t hear from Eddie unless I was watching day time TV at approximately 3:30 in the afternoon” says Betoota’s one Melbourne expat, Roy Fitz.

“I don’t want to watch a quiz show to hear Eddie say offensive stuff about Aboriginal people, or flogs as we like to call them”

“This is a sad day for Collingwood, and a sad day for the Victorian larrikin”



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