As she angrily listens to LinkedIn Park’s ‘Numb’ on repeat, New South Wales Premier Gladys Berejiklian finds herself internally battling whether or not to go downstairs.

You see, after getting caught having an illicit affair with the disgraced former Liberal politician, Daryl Macquire, Gladys has spent most of her time hiding away in her room, listening to early 2000’s hits and updating her old Tumblr profile – a profile that has seen the transition from reblogging photos of Winona Ryder, and Effie from Skins, to posting nihilistic thought pieces about ‘how we’re all essentially just living on a floating rock.’ That, and a lot of sad love quotes about being someone’s ‘ride or die’ and ‘right person, wrong time.’

Partly in her room of her own volition but also a little fearful of her parents’’ disappointed stares, Gladys is having trouble keeping up her staged lock in now that she’s feeling hungry. Especially as she knows mum has cooked some potato bake, which she can smell wafting through the crack in her door.

As the song changes to her My Chemical Romance playlist, Gladys finds herself edging towards the door and scoping out the landing below to see if there’s any way she can grab a plate without anyone seeing. Because the last thing she needs is another lecture about sneaking out of the house to see boys.

Cocking her ear to hear where most of the noise is coming from, Gladys is 90% sure everyone is congregating in the living room.

Which means the pathway to the kitchen should be clear.

However, when she attempts to creep around the corner of the upstairs alcove, she immediately locks eyes with her uncle – whose loud words of encouragement prompts a chorus of voices below.

“There she is!”

“Look who’s finally out of their room!”


Skulking back to her room sans a plate of potato bake, Gladys loudly slams the door and dramatically flops on top of her bed.

More to come.


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