The national cricketing body has today raised eyebrows, by making sure to sort out a case of grog for the Deputy Prime Minister of Australia.

Facing a Public Relations nightmare for their handling of contract negotiations with outgoing coach Justin Langer, Cricket Australia has reportedly spent the morning organising 24 Blue Deaths for Barnaby Joyce.

The strange gift is believed to be a special thank you to Barnaby for taking a bit of heat off the way they’ve thrown the highly successful national coach under a 48 seater Mercedes bus.

“It’s the least we could do,” laughed Cricket Australia boss Nick Hockley.

“And, I mean, if he starts firing off more text messages so be it.”

The comments come after Barnaby Joyce tried to hand in his resignation to Prime Minister Scott Morrison for calling him a hypocrite and a liar in leaked text messages to a third party.

The messages were intended to be passed onto Brittany Higgins and were eventually handed on to the media – in what is the latest shiny thing to occupy the minds of our politicians who are supposed to be running the country during a pandemic.

That follows revelations that a seniour cabinet minister and the former Premier of NSW exchanged texts calling the Prime Minister a ‘horrible, horrible person’ and an ‘absolute psycho.’

Those leaks have lead to the nation’s politicians slinging mud at each other over the last few days, in what has amounted to a Year 9 style gossip scandal.

However, while many around the nation look on at the burning skip bin of rubbish that is the Canberra bubble, Cricket Australia is obviously quite pleased with the fallout.

“Yeah, the two most important politicians in the country trying to pretend they don’t hate each other’s guts has really taken a bit of the sting away from us rolling one of the most successful coaches in our history,” said the CA boss.

“Obviously all the old players publicly and venomously calling us and our captain out was a bit of a disaster, but could have been worse if it wasn’t for Barnaby and Co.”

“We thought our internal turmoil was fucked, but atleast it’s not Canberra fucked,” he laughed.

“So we can get on with the business of appointing a coach the team like, who probably won’t get the results we demand and will lead us back to square one shortly.”

More to come.


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