The Prime Minister has continued to chase the sugar hit he gets from saying deliberately inflammatory things, and today trotted out the phrase ‘sport and politics don’t mix.’

Like a shared Facebook account with an Australian flag filter, the Big Fella in Chief has sought to shut down the Australia Day debate he flared up by telling Cricket Australia not to do what they deem best for their brand.

“Mate, sport and politics don’t mix,” said the Prime Minister today who did everything he could to appear at, and talk about cricket during the historic bushfires which scorched our nation last summer.

“Just keep that stuff separate I reckon. It’s bloody ordinary mixing the too,” Morrison said barely 12 months after telling bushfire victims that the national cricket team would cheer them up.

“Unless a sporting code is going to drop the anthem from one of their games.”

“Then you should call the boss of the NRL to demand he overturns the decision not to play the anthem before the State of Origin.”

“All this politically correct nonsense just doesn’t have a place in the game.”

“Besides, changing the date isn’t going to fix anything,” said the leader of the country who is doing fuck all to fix the issues he’s alluding to because he’s a narcissistic politician whose more obsessed with the perceived status he gets from being in the top job than actually trying to implement meaningful change in the lives of the people he’s supposed to work for.

“Let’s just bloody focus on our shared humanity.”

“The good stuff I mean, not the stuff like grossly disproportionate rates of incarceration, particularly childhood incarceration, or drastically poorer life expectancy for Indigenous Australians.”

“Beers, BBQ’s and Cricket.”

“I mean I don’t like any of that stuff, but my advisors tell me that’s what the shrinking middle class like.

“So let’s focus on that, okay.”


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