Following a big week of managing accounts at some trendy Betoota Old City District money making firm, Brad Parker decided to treat himself to a bit of an alternate reality this week.

After having to deal with one of his annoying partners circling back to dump some shit on his desk he didn’t want to deal with, the big fella from Betoota Heights told his girlfriend they were journeying into a world where he’s the most masculine version of himself.

A world where he can fuck up those pests on the bus who are hassling him.

Where he can intervene in a pub fight and give that lippy bloke a hiding.

The world that the new action movie Nobody can treat him too, even for a brief couple of hours.

“It’s not just action, it’s a thriller,” said the long-term local boyfriend after batting down a couple of suggestions for a rom-com to pass the night.

With a month’s worth of sodium about to course through his veins, he settled in for the film that features around a quiet suburban man fucking up some random bad guys and taking on a drug lord – something he could do too if his family depended on it.

Enjoying a brief internal monologue, Parker tells himself he wouldn’t be like 98% of the population and would step in if he saw some bad shit happening.

Even if it meant going toe to toe with some local criminals. And maybe even a drug lord.

“Ooos, fuck yeah,” he whispers to himself with the local hero giving some beatdown, and his girlfriend frowning at him.

“Give him the right now, that’s it,” he continues.

“What,” asks his girlfriend quietly.

“Nothing,” he whispers.

“I’m Nobody,” he continues inaudibly to himself, quietly shoveling another handful of popcorn into his mouth and slurping his full-strength coke as he melts back into the alternate universe of his dreams.


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