ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Democratic People’s Republic Of Western Australia (DPRWA) have closed their Sydney consulate today as relations between the city-state and our nation’s prosperous West continue to deteriorate.

Relations are at an all-time low between Scott Morrison, Prime Minister of Sydney, and the DPRWA amid comments made by Morrison that likened the people of our continent’s West to ‘cave people’.

The closure has left thousands of ethnically West Australian people currently trapped in Sydney, such as entertainer Tim Minchin and popular footballer Lance Franklin Jnr, left without proper representation in the state of New South Wales.

Today marks the day also where the rogue state’s defacto leader, Chancellor Mark McGowan, announced that all of NSW is currently a stage 17 extra hot red zone, meaning nobody except politicians and their friends are allowed to come into the hermit kingdom – though they will still have to complete hotel quarantine.

Once touted as the ‘most valuable donga in Sydney’ or simply ‘the harbourside donga’, the DPRWA’s Sydney consulate is located just a stone’s throw from the water in McMahon’s Point, which is on Sydney’s Western Lower North Side.

“It’s a stone’s throw provided you’re Ricky Ponting or Justing Langer!” laughed the consulate’s receptionist when this masthead phoned this afternoon.

“Our consulate will be closed for an undisclosed amount of time. West Australians seeking diplomatic assistance can attend the Chinese consulate in Camperdown or failing that, travel to Queensland to seek asylum,”

“We will leave nobody behind, unlike this Federal Government.”

More to come.


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