ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Chancellor of South Betoota Polytechnic University has said the Federal Government needs to do more to help the struggling sector get through the aftershocks of the Pangolin’s Revenge.

Rather than work to better cater to local students and provide value for money education, Professor Chancellor Gary Ridgway AM is calling on the Education Minister Dan Tehan to give him millions of dollars in corporate welfare to sustain the university until they can go back to ripping off international students.

“We’d rather just get money for nothing and do nothing about this problem,” said Ridgway.

“For years and years, we were printing money and operating at such a giant profit and rather than invest it properly, we simply kept building new buildings to attract more international students and now we’ve done our arse,”

“So please, Mr Tehan. Help me keep my job and write me a cheque? Otherwise, what’s going to happen? A dreaded brain drain,”

“People will grow up to be bogans. We won’t have people in studying Arts! They’ll be bogan tradies. Australia is facing a shortage of lawyers, where do we train more? At TAFE? It’s pish posh. Mr Tehan, you have a duty to keep our university sector in business!”

More to come.


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