ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A young man from our town’s French Quarter thought he was about to board the Camelier Express last night in Roma Street but instead, a person with a clipboard told him to follow the exits to the coach service.

“Oh man,” said Dale Stucky, who flew down to Brisbane a few days ago to help with his grandparent’s flood clean up in Logan.

“Not the bus.”

The Camelier Express services the far south west corner of Queensland with a bi-weekly timetable from Brisbane’s Roma Street Station out to Birdsville via Toowoomba, Dalby, Miles, Roma, Charleville, Quilpe, Windorah, Betoota (Remienko Street) and Birdsville.

But due to flood-related trackwork this week, a number of country services have been replaced by coaches.

“Getting the bus sucks. Big time. I shouldn’t have gotten on,” he told The Advocate passing through Chinchilla.

“I’m going to be on this thing for 24 more hours. There’s one toilet and it’s already covered in piss. There’s no reception half the time and nowhere to charge your phone,”

“Getting the train is bad enough but you can get up and go find a curry in the dining car and stretch your legs. Get a cold tin from the bar and charge your phone as the country flies past. Plus it’s only 12 hours. You’re home for dinner,”

“I might be a decadent western pig but we won the Cold War. I really should be driving or flying in a jet plane but it’s just too expensive with this stupid war going on and the Russians making life hard for everyone. But honestly, there’s son old bastard up the front coughing his guts up. No attempt to even cover his mouth, just bulk droplets on the seat in front,”

“The driver is the most burnt out human being I’ve ever seen hold down a job. He’s already threatened to pull the bus over twice and bash the brains out of some guy’s ears with a tyre iron. He looks like he’d fucken do it, too. Some old duck is on the white wine next to me, drinking it like Powerade from the bottle,”

“There’s this elderly bloke who’s been going to the toilet every 15 minutes since we left Dalby. He can’t shut the door properly and it jsut swung open a minute ago and I saw his fucking cock! His old man cock!”

“Fuck the bus.”

The line then went dead as the bus drove out of reception.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here