ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Perth-based journalist is facing execution by anti-aircraft gun after suggesting to Mark McGowan, the de facto leader of the Democratic People’s Republic Of Western Australia (DPRWA), that it was only a matter of time until the so-called Delta variety of the spicy cough made it to the rouge state.

The state-owned media service, WA Today, has yet to publish details of the alleged crimes of the journalist or when the scheduled execution is set to take place but reports from some inside the hermit kingdom have said it may be “within days”.

Little is known about the day-to-day affairs within the DPRWA and this latest development has sent a chill down the spine of local human rights group Dispensation Consolidation Betoota.

“Our sources within the DPRWA have told us that there wasn’t even a trail,” said DC Betoota chairperson, Cameron Sift.

“We also know that Leader Mark McGowan takes great pride in the continued protection he gives his people, whom he loves, from this deadly Sydney Sneeze,”

“That does not mean McGowan is above scrutiny. A journalist should be allowed to ask him if he thinks Delta would ever make it to the West. This is Australia. We don’t shoot journalists with anti-aircraft guns.”

However, the DPRWA Consulate in the French Quarter was able to throw water on the supposed developments to come out of Perth today.

Consular-General Kim Beazley III, cousin to the DPRWA’s “Eternal Leader” Kim Beazley II, explained it was a case of being lost in translation.

“The West Australian language is very complex, there are not many Dutch creole languages in the world,” explained Consul Beazley.

“Unfortunately, this is another example of a non-native speaker of our language getting confused,”

“The journalist in question asked a question about the anti-aircraft guns that the DPRWA has recently captured from the Hutt River Province. It was a question about whether McGowan planned to use them to shoot down unauthorised aircraft entering the sovereign territory of the West,”

“Dear Leader McGowan indicated that they would indeed be used for that purpose.”

More to come.


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