ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Dual silver medallist Maddie Groves pulled the pin on this year’s Tokyo Hunger Games and called out the “mysoginistic pervert” at Swimming Australia that prompted her decision.

That was news the nation learned yesterday and this morning, the only people shocked that Swimming Australia has a creepy culture are apparently the old blokes running it.

The Advocate reached out to Swimming Australia for comment on the situation and they were more than happy to oblige this masthead.

“It’s news to us,” said one bloke who was wearing a Swimming Australia polo shirt two sizes too small for him.

“Yeah, we’ve been completely blind-sided by this. We’re taking this allegation very seriously and that means an internal investigation will be launched that will ultimately achieve nothing, except improve our optics until something else comes along ands blows this out of the news cycle.”

He rocked back in his chair, exposing the gut hanging over the waistband of his bootcut chinos.

“We’ll get to the bottom of this.”

Around town, our reporter canvassed a few blokes sitting in the ground floor cafe under The Advocate’s Daroo Street newsroom.

When asked if they were shocked that an organisation like Swimming Australia might have a creepy culture, they said they weren’t.

“I mean, it makes sense, doesn’t it?” said one 29-year-old city worker eating a ham cheese croissant.

“Like, I don’t need to spell it out but you can imagine the shit that goes on there that we don’t know about. Enough to make your skin crawl, hey?”


More to come.


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