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Aside from choosing the crudest and arguably least politically correct card for his brother’s upcoming birthday, Brett Gregson also felt compelled to leave a few choice insults inside in his own childlike scrawl.

William Gregson is turning 29 and he feels bad about it.

“So I thought he could do with some cheering up,” said Brett, who’s still enjoying his mid-20s.

“After work, I got off the bus a stop early up at the shops and strolled through the newsagency for like twenty minutes. I had to look right up the back for the more racy ones. Here,”

Brett pulled out his phone and showed our reporter a picture of the card he chose while he struggled to contain his laughter.

It is not fit to print.

“Fucking pissa, hey?” he said.

“Anyway, poor Bill is getting old. Most of his mates are getting married and having kids now. All that old Bill’s managed to put together in his nigh-on triple decade on this hellish fuckhole we call Earth, is a huge credit card debt and a career in public service! What a fucking spoon. Love him but, don’t talk shit about him in the newspaper.”

The Advocate reached out to William for comment but he said he would rather spend his upcoming birthday in bed listening to Radiohead.

Our reporter phoned him a short time ago.

“I’m not ready to be 29,” he wrote.

“Please don’t make a big deal out of it. My birthday is on Friday and I don’t want anybody to make a big deal, I’ve already changed my birthday to February so nobody writes on my Facebook wall. I hate my birthday,”

“But Bretto always gets me a funny card, if that’s what you’re calling about.”

More to come.



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