ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

According to the purveyors of eternal truth, the ABC, the Division of Fowler is the most economically disadvantaged electorate in Australia – and in an effort to make sure they hold onto the seat at the next election, the party for working Australias is looking to parachute in a rich American who lives on Sydney’s affluent Northern Beaches.

It’s a move that’s triggered confused looks among the Labor faithful, who thought things had started to change within the party.

Former NSW premier Kristina Keneally has been urged by many within Labor to run for the Division of Folwer after the incumbent bloke is looking to retire at the next election.

Fowler is one of the most ethnically diverse seats in the country and with it comes unique challenges. It also provides Labor with an opportunity to get somebody new into parliament who isn’t already there.

Nevertheless, Opposition leader Anthony Albanese explained to this masthead this morning via telephone that this move will signal the soft launch of Labor’s campaign to finally unseat Scotty from Marketing.

“Yeah look, it’s about putting a familiar face to the voters,” explained Albo.

“We already have fantastic representation in Western Sydney. The Division of Fowler is a migrant seat and Kristina Keneally is a migrant of some sort. Though she didn’t arrive here on a boat as many migrants did in this country, there is still a lot of merit in arriving by business class. Oh, hang on,”

“What I’m trying to say is that Kristina is a champion of the Labor movement here in Australia. She has spent much of her life serving the people of New South Wales and Australia. I am confident that she will be a great representer, is that a word? A great representative for the people of Western Sydney,”

“Anyway, we’ll see what the branch does. Hopefully, common sense will prevail.”

More to come.


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