ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A senior journalist at a cross-town masthead is hoping out for more blood clots to emerge as a result of the spicy cough jab that older people in our community have received so he doesn’t have to report on what crimes against humanity Israel is committing in Palestine.

Current Affairs editor Derek Watson over at The Betoota Bugle, our town’s last News Corp newspaper, has explained candidly to our reporter this morning during a walk through Machattie Park that whipping up public fears over something such as a potential cure to the Pangolin’s Wrath is much easier than holding Israel to account.

“It’s something closer to home, it’s something that affects our readers much more than say a conflict on the other side of the Earth,” he said.

“Our readers are typically over 50, white and terrified of people taking their wealth and health. They’re not worried about having a JDAM blast through the roof of their grandchild’s day care centre and blow it all over the neighbourhood. Australians, especially older ones, are pretty apathetic when it comes to social issues at home so why would be want to clog up our newspaper with news they don’t want to read?”

“They want to know if the jab that will prevent them dying from the Sydney Sneeze might actually end up rolling them through a blood clot. That’s what they wanna know about. That and they want to peruse the offerings at their local Harvey Norman by taking a look through the catalogue inside. They also want a form guide with fantastic analysis from those in the know,”

“Look, it’s sad what’s happening over there but I’m in the business of selling newspapers and cashing cheques. So is every other mug in this game. So anyway, I’m holding out for some more clots today so I can go on ignoring what’s going on over there.”

When our reporter asked Derek what news organisations can do to make people care about the current situation in Israel, he shrugged.

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”

More to come.


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