ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the kids who got the preferred jab the other day in Sydney has had it sucked out of his arm in a brazen daylight attack at a Sydney train station.

The boy alleges he was set upon by a group of Eshays, which The Advocate believes to be some sort of street gang that centres around a certain lifestyle similar to Juggalos and polygamists, who first demanded the boy hand over his mobile telephone and wallet.

It was only then that the Eshays realised that the student was from elite Catholic boarding school St Josephs College and had recently received a Michelle Pfeiffer jab because of a happy mistake made by NSW Health spokesperson Brad ‘Breakfast Sausage In A Suit’ Hazzard.

“Roll up your sleeve, you little cunt,” witnesses said the King Eshay told the boy.

A King Eshay is the eshay that is essentially the defacto leader of a group of eshays, similar to a Capo in our nation’s Italian-Australian waste management consultancy community.

“Do it!”

After the student rolled up his sleeve, the King Eshay allegedly ripped the small BandAid off the injection site and sunk his teeth into the boy’s arm and sucked the vaccine out and swallowed it.

Police down in that spicy cough-ravaged rat’s nest have said they’ll find whoever did this to the boys, who they understand to be some important cunt’s cunt son.

“Police will send a tough message to those who think they can suck the Pfeiffer out of people’s arms that they can’t just do what they want,” they said.

“As the politicians have said, it’s the Hunger Games right now. Let this be a warning to anyone who thinks that means you can assault people. The police will either shoot you dead in the street or flog you half to death with socks full of sand or wet phonebooks when we arrest you so play nice.”

More to come.


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