ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The faint slap of half-digested cheeseboard and white wine hitting the lawns of Hunter Valley wineries will not be heard for some time as the region goes into lockdown.

That’s forced the organiser of a hen’s weekend to find another wine region to get blackout drunk in.

Betoota Heights woman, Megan Taylor, explained to The Advocate that they originally planned to head to Sydney for the hedonistic weekend but because of Gladys and Scott’s leadership efforts, nobody will ever be allowed to go to Sydney again.

“Being from regional Queensland, we were obviously excited to fly down to Sydney to get on it,” she said.

“Then the lockdown happened there but we couldn’t get the flights changed so we were just going to travel direct to the Hunter, which the government said we can do. Now we can’t go there so what do we do?”

“Is it even a hen’s weekend if someone doesn’t get mild alcohol poisoning? If someone gets so drunk, they end up vomiting bits of their stomach lining?”

“We might just go on a Diamantina River paddlesteamer cruise and aim to get our stomach’s pumped by 9pm. That’s what most people do in this town,”

“The bride, Navara, doesn’t really want all the modcons like male strippers and penis straws, she just wants one night away from the kid where she can get on it like it’s 2009 again.”

More to come.


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