ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The government is set to incentivise over 50s to get the AstroZucchini jab by giving them the choice between that or coughing themselves to death in a hospital corridor when the borders inevitably open.

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg made the announcement this morning in Canberra where he explain that the only reason they shut the borders in the first place was to protect those in the community who’d fucking die if they caught this bug.

“The world keeps on spinning and Australia will open up to the world either late this year or the next,” he said.

“And when that happens, people are going to die,”

“How much is a human life worth? Well, to quote Josef Stalin, ‘One death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic,’ and the economy is at a crossroads. Over the next twenty or so years, the government will spend close to a trillion dollars in aged care. If we open the borders, we can cut that figure almost in half,”

“Why should the young and health have to foot the bill for an entire generation that refuses to protect itself against almost certain death? They’ve had their chance, the wise have got the jab and are prepared for the tsumani of human suffering that’s about to come for the Baby Boomers. No amount of wealth or capital can save you from what’s coming. Don’t think you’re children will stand between your death and inheriting your property and shares. Sure, they’ll cry for a day or two but when reality sinks in that they’re now significantly more wealthy now that you’re dead, the tears will dry up quicker than piss on a Cloncurry footpath in February,”

“So those are the choices for Australians over 50. Get the AstroZucchini or die.”

More to come.


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