ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A man from Melbourne’s hellish northside has tried his best to upset older Australians today by demanding he and the millions of other lockdown victims receive a service medal and the right to “march” in the annual ANZAC Day Parade.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning via zoom, the private school boy turned green-haired Fitzroy goblin Clarke Hughes said the people of Melbourne have done a great service to the rest of the country and continue to do so as they head into yet another lockdown tonight.

“If they let reservists and Ben Roberts-Smith march, then they should at least acknowledge the service done by the people of Melbourne,” he said.

“Let’s face it, if you got a medal for going over to the Middle East to commit war crimes, then you should get one for keeping the rest of Australia safe like the people of Melbourne have,”

“And now that most of the OG ANZACs are either too old or too dead to march, we need to fill the void. Plus, it will make ANZAC Parades more culturally diverse. They’re very white at the moment. I know what I’m saying might upset both people in Melbourne and the defence community but it’s my opinion and it deserves to be heard.”

Our reporter spoke to a local returned serviceman about Mr Hughes’ plan and he was not that enthused.

He spoke to this masthead anonymously as he has family in Melbourne.

“Oh, look,” he said.

“Call me old fashioned but I reckon it’s a bit on the nose. I don’t think it’d be popular. Imagine if Peter Dutton hears about it, he’ll freak the fuck out,”

“But yeah. I can see where that bloke is coming from. Perhaps Victoria should just have another public holiday to celebrate it. Like Lockdown Day or something. I dunno, who gives a fuck? Not me. I’ve got enough on my plate as it is.”

The Advocate reached out to the Office of the Defence Minister for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here