ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The situation in New South Wales is now as bad as a header catching fire in a paddock full of wheat in the December heat according to government insiders, which is why the Federal Government has decided to come to the rescue.

After a long night of smearing poo on the walls of Sydney’s Parliament House, the NSW Government is set to announce a joint partnership with the Feds that should see the denizens of the nation’s razor-burned armpit get through the next month or so.

“It’s called GladysKeeper, a new scheme to provide payments to businesses which trickle down to workers – regardless of their personal circumstances,” said the state’s Premier Gladys Berejiklian.

“The scheme is also designed to make sure my government isn’t booted from power. We’re also making the announcement today to deflect from the fact that my former live-in boyfriend Daryl is back in the news. Anyway, we don’t need to know about that. When I say we, I mean the people of NSW because we’re all in this together,”

“So thank you to Josh Frydenberg and his team for making it possible. You’ve really saved the people of Sydney, including me.”

More to come.


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