ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local epidemiologist has told The Advocate today that they’re preparing to fade away back into academic obscurity as the pandemic ends but warned people that blah blah this won’t be the end of it or something like that.

Professor Darcy Daley from the South Betoota Polytechnic School of Virology explained that people, especially the sanctimonious people of seaside Sydney, have stopped listening to health advice because it gets in the way of what they want to do.

“Look, you just because you want something, doesn’t mean you can get it,” explained Professor Daley.

“Down in New South Wales, there’s going to be a lot more people die but blah blah blah it as long as some plump yuppie dog can eat mussels in Corsica by this time next year, they don’t care,”

“Take this as a warning, blah blah blah. This virus is still very dangerous blah blah blah to people who aren’t vaccinated. It will clog up our health system like blah blah blah old Mars Bars stuck to the walls Clive Palmer’s aorta blah blah blah,”

“The people of Sydney put themselves before anyone else. It’s a dog eat dog place. When you really look at the place for what it is, it’s a speculative shithole full of blow in pretender cunts,”

“You aren’t even listening to me, are you?”

The Advocate thanked Professor Daley for her time.

More to come


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