ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A French Quarter conveyancing lawyer says they’re worried about their job security moving forward after a local bonobo becomes the first primate to be admitted to the Queensland Supreme Court.

When asked what he does for a living by our reporter, Timothy Glynn said he enters simple data into a computer and takes money from people keen to transfer property from one person to another.

“There’s actually more to it than that,” he said.

“Like you have to ask questions about how much the property sold for and things like that. I highly doubt a monkey could do that. But at the same time, other parts of law such as criminal and so-called intellectual property are quite hard and require some nuance in thinking. From my personal experience, bonobos lack the nuance and lateral thinking that one needs to have as a lawyer. But if any lawyer is under threat from a beast who throws poo at zoo visitors, it’s us conveyancing ones.”

The bonobo, Rodney, completed a Bachelor of Laws at the prestigious Bjelke School Of Law at South Betoota Polytechnic College in mid-2021 and was admitted just a few weeks ago.

Rodney explained with flashcards and drawings he did with the blood of a pigeon he crushed to death with his bare hands that he was keen on conveyancing as he feels it comes to him naturally.

“Easy. Easy,” Rodney indicated by pointing to the corresponding flashcard.

“Title deed. Transfer. Easy. Computer. Kill birds.”

Rodney then gestured, using a crude sign language, that given the chance he’d kill his handlers.

Which is something Timothy says will have him in good stead should he choose a career in law.

“Oh man,” he said.

“He sounds like he’s been a lawyer for 20 years. Anyway, these things are not our bonobros, they are our bonofoes.”

More to come.


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