ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The ethnically-South Australian city of Broken Hill is in crisis today as the town’s supermarkets are forced to replace smiley fritz with plain devon as border closures begin to bite.

Though the ingredients of ‘fritz’ and ‘devon’ are largely the same, the move has prompted an outpouring of grief in Broken Hill with the town’s mayor appealing to state and federal leaders to come to an agreement.

“We propose a fritz bubble with Adelaide,” said the Broken Hill deputy vice mayor, Fromaway Northclub.

“We send one refrigerator truck and the driver isn’t allowed to get out. In fact, we tape the door shut so no germs can get out. We will send him with enough Gatorade bottles to piss in and a few dog bags for him to defecate in should he have no other option,”

“A life without Smiley Fritz is not something our community is prepared to do. We will do anything to get rid of this so-called Devon. It does not taste the same, it tastes like the Tasman Sea. A large sewer. Its from Sydney,”

“Sydney is a town that’s run for the benefit of chodes in black puffer vests with a Major League Baseball cap on their heads – and their fucking parents. They can take their devon and shove it down their yuppie gullets. This is a fritz town.”

The Advocate reached out to the South Australian Government for comment but they were busy doing whatever creepy activities they get up to on Monday mornings.

More to come.


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