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DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS: George Christensen is the first LNP member to throw his support behind Barnaby Joyce in a bid to formally recognise ‘Blue’ as the superior Powerade.
The retiring Dawson MP told 2GB he is calling on the Australian Government to do what is right and back the Nationals leader in his declaration “as a matter of urgency, in the interests of common sense”.
In his second day as the Deputy Prime Minister, the newly sworn-in Joyce has taken the reigns of the Lower House while Scott Morrison completes his 14 day quarantine after arriving back from a pointless trip to the UK over the weekend.
His first order of business today, is to formally address something that’s been on his mind for a while now.
“Deadset. Blue’s the best. It’s my go-to on a hangover” said the Acting PM, before describing how big his night was last night.
“So I left you lot at Mooseheads at what, 7:30?” he told his colleagues.
“Went home and ordered a pizza for Vikki and the boys. So yeah, Meatlovers and Lava Cakes. Now that I’m on that Deputy PM salary ha ha”
However, it didn’t end there. As the Acting PM pointed out, the hearty pizza and novelty fast food deserts meant lights out in the Joyce household.
“They all hit the sack… But I’m still buzzing you know what I mean, hard to come down from a day like yesterday… So I thought I’d push the boat out”
“Met up with Littleproud at Public Bar and we got stuck into the Dark and Stormys hahaha”
After consuming roughly 17 standard drinks with an array of National Party allies that helped orchestrate yesterday’s spill, Barnaby says he passed out on the couch at home with the windows open.
“Not a very smart play in the dead of a Canberra winter. So now I’m as hungover as ten cunts and on top of that I’ve likely got a cold”
“So that brings me to my initial point. Blue is the best Powerade. I’m moving this motion today. It’s certainly saved my arse”
Christensen immediately backed this motion, it is believed that the rest of the coalition is split with a few self-declared red Powerade guys and one or two perverts who prefer the mango flavour.
Bob Katter is demanding someone explain to him what Powerade is.
