WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has delighted the Liberal Party today, by coming up with an incredibly innovative privatisation policy.
Following in the footsteps of Prime Ministers and Premiers before him, Morrison has conjured up a plan to sell a public asset for short term financial gain.
That plan is, to hopefully, sell Norfolk Island to the United States.
The offering up of Norfolk Island, an Australian external territory in the South Pacific follows reports the President of The United States is keen on purchasing Greenland.
The idea of buying the island, an autonomous Danish territory, was met with a stern rebuke from Danish authorities and bemusement from Greenlanders.
However, sensing an opportunity, Sco-mo put the PR hat from his Tourism Australia days back on and dropped Trump a line.
“I told him that I can do a great deal on Norfolk if he’s still chasing an Island. Greenland’s a miserable cold piece of shit anyway. I explained that I can do mates rates for him on our little slice of heaven,” Sco-mo told The Advocate.
“Every great Prime Minister must sell off a valuable Australian asset for a relatively tiny sugar hit, under the justification it’s for the good of the country.”
“Hawkey sold the Commonwealth Bank, Keating sold Qantas, John Howard sold Telstra and I’m gonna sell Norfolk Island.”
“I’m not sure how I’m going to pretend that Norfolk Island will run more efficiently if it’s sold, but I’m sure they’ll find a way to rip people off like the three aforementioned companies if they are.”
“Anyway Trump’s a businessman and we’ll see if we can cut a deal.”
The George Pell appeal dismissal created plenty of headlines today. Have a listen to our special wrap up of a big day of George Pell news!
