ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Pangolin’s Revenge jumped the fence in our nation’s West over the weekend, forcing Premier Mark McGowan to sound the state’s Doomsday kazoo.
By sounding the woodwind instrument, McGowan triggered a strict lockdown that hasn’t been seen in Western Australian since the pandemic began some 12 months ago.
“By the decree of the Doomsday Kazoo, I hereby order a lockdown that begins as the clock strikes 6 tonight,” McGowan said yesterday.
“Get your toilet paper, get your Export tins. It’s going to be a long one. I trust you all to do the right thing and stay home,”
“We will get through this. One day, we will rise and get back to work. Queensland needs our GST to pay for their sitdown lifestyle. They need our GST to keep the retirees alive. They need our GST to prop up their tourism industry. Without us, the nation stops. This lockdown will last some time but we will see the end of it,”
“Until then, you cannot drink in public.”
Yesterday marked the first time the Doomsday Kazoo has been sounded since WW2 and comes just ten months after McGowan sounded the State Kazoo Of WA (known colloquially as the Black Swan Honker as the sound the instrument makes is said to be modelled from the aggressive honks of an irate black swan) which called every Sandgrouper home before the hard border went up.
The Advocate reached out to the Office of the WA Premier but have yet to receive a reply.
More to come.
