ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The search is continuing this morning for those in our fragile society that give a fuck about universities having a hard time because they don’t have any international student cash cows to milk thanks to this spicy cough going ’round.

One person who does care about the South Betoota Polytechnic College’s plight was last seen entering bushland in Betoota Heights, just off Machattie Road on Thursday last week.

Volunteers from the Queensland State Emergency Service are currently combing the bushland.

Vice-Chancellor Warren Dean from the South Betoota Polytechnic College spoke briefly to The Advocate this morning about the government’s constant refusals to let people like him import students.

“How do you think universities pay for things like research?” he said.

“By exploiting the emerging upper-middle-class in Asia. We here at Betoota Poly need these international students to keep our bottom line above $250 million. For us, that number is our zero dollars. If we aren’t making money, we’re going backwards,”

“That’s the nature of tertiary education in this country. This is the anti-intellectualism that you voted for. If we don’t get in a good crop of international students who pay a hundred grand for a largely useless business degree, we’re going to fold. It’s as simple as that.”

One local man, who asked to remain anonymous, reckons people like Warren Dean can go and get fucked.

“Boo hoo, he has to educate some dumb skippies, like my deadshit son,” he said.

“He should really be getting into a trade. He’s good with his hands and he can count. Don’t know what some fucking Arts degree would do for him. I hate universities and people like fat pompous fat pricks like that toad-throated cunt Warren Dean from the poly college. Wanker is always on Good Morning Betoota taking shots at ScoMo. He looks like he’s got a wheelbarrow tire of flesh around his neck. Never worked a day in his life. I’d boot that bloke so hard up the gooch his head would bang on the ceiling.”

The search continues.

More to come.


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