ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Bloke has made it public today that a bloke who looks just like him is the new CEO of Australia Post, replacing Christine Holgate who resigned six months ago for giving people some cheap watches.

“At least they weren’t cheap headphones!” laughed Scott Morrison today in Sydney.

“Because if they were cheap headphones, she’d be in the senior cabinet! No, that’s a joke. Ok, so, my mate Paul from Woolworths is going to be running the show at Australia Post now. He’s a legend. I’ve known him for ages, we’ve got heaps of mutuals. Only met him a few times but some people I know respect vouch for him big time so yeah,”

“It’s a bit of a diversity hire, too. He goes for the bloody Dragons! Come to think of it, you wouldn’t want a bloody Dragons fan running a chook raffle! Nah, only kidding. Paul’s a good man. Tell you what, that organisation needs a bit of accountability. If only I could do this to the bloody ABC! Run by a bunch of people who think they’re English, bloody calling the ABC ‘aunty’ like they do. Tell you what, if I was Prime Minister, I’d have everyone who calls the ABC ‘aunty’ bloody locked up,”

“Oh, wait! [laughs] Nah, I’m not bloody Pol Pot. Anyway, go you Sharks!”

The Advocate reached out to Woolworths for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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