The New South Wales Government has abandoned forced council amalgamations in areas where Valium use and suburban four-wheelers are most common, ending an 18-month war with the most cashed up local municipalities in the state.

Today’s announcement affects mergers in areas that are popular with Waratahs fans and au pair backpackers – including Mosman, Willoughby, North Sydney, Lane Cove, Hunters Hill, Ryde, Strathfield, Canada Bay, Burwood, Ashfield, Ku-ring-gai, Hornsby, Woollahra, Randwick and Waverly

Premier Gladys Berejiklian said that while she still has plans to continue merging the leftie areas and other places that would look much better with a motorway going through the centre of it, it’s just not worth riling up the leafier suburbs.

“The Government’s merger policy has always been about putting liberal-voting ratepayers first and it has become increasingly clear that we were doing ourselves a disservice by making these Liberal areas front up more money to go to court against with the Liberal party.”

“We promise these people that we’ll do exactly what you want… Which is nothing”

“We want to make it clear that we also promise less public transport options in your suburbs, to keep the plebs away from the water”

In February, the NSW Government walked away from regional council mergers, after the Nationals lost a by-election to a minor party whose entire political ideology is based around shooting firearms and catching fish


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