ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A bottle of urine that’s been left on the side of a lonely stretch of West Australian highway is set to join the Sunrise team from next month as breakfast television titan Samantha Armytage decides it’s time to sleep in.

Concerns are already starting to grow within Channel Seven about the molten piss outshining David Koch, known affectionately as Kochie, but producers for the show tell this inbred desert newspaper that they’re optimistic for the future.

“We are going to be trying something new,” they said.

“And this is a real departure from form for us. This is the first inanimate object to be given a start on breakfast television,”

“On Sunrise, we’ve always tried to tell it like it is and have no filter. We feel that having a bottle of the hottest piss in Western Australia on the desk beside David will take the show to new heights,”

“We first considered it for the Morning Show but we weren’t able to guarantee Larry [Emdur] won’t be able to stop himself from taking small sips from the bottle while nobody is looking,”

“Kochie should be able to resist the said urge.”

The Advocate reached out to the Bottle’s management but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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