ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Holidaying actor Matt Damon has caught up with exiled and now-broke US tech entrepreneur Bill Gates in Central Queensland this week where they went fishing and lay some crab pots.

However, Damon explained to our reporters this morning that the trip wasn’t what he thought it was going to be.

“We went up to the Fitzroy River out of Rocky and we didn’t really catch much,” he said.

“And every crab pot we pulled up with full of dead turtles,”

“Bill would get angry and swear at them, saying things like, ‘You stupid bum-breathing cunts! Stay out of my pots!’ before emptying them into an esky. By the end of the day, we must’ve had like 40 pounds of drowned turtles in the boat. It was horrifying.”

Damon explained to The Advocate that he felt obligated to hang out with Bill Gates after learning the former billionaire was living a new life as a divorced single dad in Central Queensland.

“He’s not in a good place,” said Damon.

“Bill was rambling about putting Family Court judges into crab pots and drowning them and stuff like that. When we got back to the boat ramp, he saw the fisheries officer there and we pretty much dumped the whole esky full of dead turtles into the water, saying he couldn’t afford to get pinged again,”

“In the end, I wish I never went up to Rocky with Bill. He’s not a very nice person anymore.”

The Advocate phoned the Yeppon Men’s Shed where Bill is said to frequent but have yet to track him down for comment.

More to come.


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