ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Senator Malcolm Roberts has taken his ongoing battle with Lower House Member Andrew Hastie public this afternoon, telling reporters in Canberra he’s begging the West Australian to stop ‘nuggeting’ his work backpack.

The practice of ‘nuggeting’ somebody’s backpack or having your backpack ‘nuggeted’ is considered a rite-of-passage for many Australians. It involves removing the contents of a backpack, turning it inside out and replacing the contents before carefully zipping it up.

Senator Roberts bared his soul to media a short time ago, explained that ‘dumb jock’ Andrew Hastie is bullying him and nobody with any authority in Parliament is doing anything about it.

“Andrew is coming into my office when I’m not there and nuggeting my backpack,” said Roberts.

“I would’ve done something about it myself but he’s extremely intimidating in person. Yesterday, I caught him coming out of my office and I confronted him about it. He just pushed my head into the wall and called me a pussy,”

“Then he said if I ratted on him, he’d cut my hands off and shove them up my arse!”

“If it was anybody else in that building, I wouldn’t have been worried but considering what’s been in the news recently, I’m terrified he might actually do it!”

“If you’re reading this, Andrew, please leave me and my property alone!”

The Advocate has requested comment from the Office of the Member For Canning but has yet to receive a reply.

ScoMo, the Prime Minister, released a short statement just before the afternoon edition went to print saying his Office will look into the alleged ‘nuggeting’ of Senator Roberts’ work backpack and report back in due course.

More to come.


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