23 March, 2017. 13:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Move over Winfield Sky Blues! There’s a new kid in town.

After learning just how bad smoking is for you in a recent PDHPE class, a group of popular local high schoolers have shunned the filthy, working-class habit of smoking for something considered way cooler these days.

Speaking to The Advocate through the senior’s restroom window at South Betoota’s Diamantina Sports High campus, the group said they just come to the bathrooms at lunch to hang out and chill, rather than take in some lung candy before fourth-period geography.

“Sitting – and indeed talking is the new smoking,” said one cool boy. “Smoking is just so anti-social and terrible for your skin.”

“Yeah, and it’s so expensive these days as well. How is a high schooler supposed to maintain a pack a day habit without a job? You tell me?” asked another popular girl. “So we just come here to hang out, because it’s where us cool kids have always hung out historically. But we’re the first senior year to not smoke in here.”

The phrase, “Sitting is the new smoking,” was first coined by the CSIRO after they discovered that every person who has at some point, enjoyed a fine cigarette while sitting down has ultimately passed away.

After almost 18 days of government funded research, the peak scientific body concluded that people who don’t smoke and move around quite a bit almost always live longer than people who sit around and punch darts.

More to come.


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