ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The knockabout bloke with two pikelet-sized nipples stuck to his chest that runs this bloody country has taken time in the first of many National Cabinet Meetings to just ask the blokes and sheilas attending if they could just talk about the silly Navy dancing girls instead of the usual boring stuff.

Our Scotty Morrison, the Bloke-In-Chief, said today was Friday and he wasn’t in the mood to repeat himself to the swabs beneath him on the power tree.

“Can’t we just talk about them there twerking Navy girls? Wasn’t that whole thing just a bloody dog’s breakfast,” he said.

“Oi, between us cunts, Christopher Pyne actually planned that when he was Defence Minister, which explains a lot, hey? Fuck he loves a cheeky little event, hey? You all know the bloke, right? Mate, top bloke he’s good company but mate, he’s really into this shit. Like dancing and shit and having a good old time, miss the cunt,”

“But yeah, like we’ve got fucken heaps of jabs, I don’t know what those hand-biting smoothbrains at the ABC keep getting up me about, like what’s a man supposed to do? Like fuck mate, just sit back and wait for me to pay for you to be jabbed.”

WA Premier Mark McGowan began to speak and the Prime Minister just got up and turned his TV off.

“Fucking hell, does he ever shut up? Fuck me.”

A bionic and half-broken Dan Andrews spoke in his Microsoft Sam voice.

“Please Prime Minister, can we pleas….”

Scott turned him off, too.

Then he left.


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