In some sad news for the nation’s capital, Canberra’s economy is currently on the brink of an economic collapse.

This comes as the city created purely because Melbourne and Sydney could never cease their dick measuring competition, faces another prolonged period without school excursions.

Aside from the public service, Primary and High School excursions are the backbone of the regional centre’s economy, and with the virus hanging around like a pissed bloke out the front of Mooseheads who can’t get a cab, the city is currently in serious trouble.

Speaking from the footsteps of some random building in Reid, Canberra’s Mayor Pa Blic-Servanté explained that the city is dreading the back end of this year.

“The Questacon, War Memorial, Parliament House holy trinity is what keeps this city afloat,” Blic-Servanté this morning.

“Without it, our city grinds to a halt.”

“Virtual slides down the Free Fall don’t exactly cut the mustard, and we can’t sell overpriced food to people who aren’t here.”

“Add to that the lack of business for chain stores in Civic who rely on townies coming here and getting overexcited by the bright lights of things like Jay Jays.”

“And the slump of the Raiders – things aren’t looking great in the Capital.”

“We need this virus to piss off ASAP.”

“We are almost our of RDO’s around here.”


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