WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The good times look set to keep rolling for Pat Cummins today, after the leader of the Australian team received some wonderful news upon waking up in England.
Following a match winning performance as captain of the Aussie cricket team, Cummins has awoken to news from back home that his online enemies have downed their keyboard arms.
Captain Planet has been informed that the 85th Internet Infantry Division of Keyboard Warriors will lay down their weapons for the next two weeks as part of a historic armistice with the Australian Captain.
This comes following a long assault on the Woke Warrior as a result of his stances on social and environmental issues.
The absolutely outrageous desire to actual vocalise his thoughts and use his conscience to make decisions about things has made him a target of the elderly infantry division, who never miss an opportunity to attack him in the Facebook comments’ section of every news article.
Taking a moment to show solidarity with the West Indian cricket team’s decision to take a knee as well as voicing concerns about a sponsor with a mammoth carbon footprint were some of the things that upset boomers – despite these same boomers normally being the first to call people snowflakes for getting upset about things.
However, the king from Mt Riv has silenced all of the old boomers by ‘actually playing cricket’ at an incredibly high level.
“Yeah look, it has frustrated me that this articulate young man actually has thought out personal opinions – but taking key wickets, bowling massive overs for the team and scoring bulk runs as part of our tail are impossible to argue with,” said some old bloke called Barry.
“The cease fire flag is up, and he has free rein to say whatever he wants for the next couple of weeks.”
