LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A frightening gang of wild youths are going from door to door in Betoota Heights, scaring the blood out of the home-owning population of local boomers.
In case you’ve never been targeted by advertising, it is Halloween today which means costumed children will roam the streets asking for lollies under the vague threat of vandalism.
Betoota Heights couple Frank and Noelene Stoolwright state they have no problem with people celebrating Halloween; they just don’t want to do the decorations, have children knock on their door or see anyone celebrating Halloween.
“If I hand out free lollies this year, what’s going to stop them asking for more next year?” asked Frank, who last week was complaining about how people don’t talk to their neighbours anymore.
“Plus, some of those costumes are a bit how ya going… I’ve always dissaproved of Barbie”
However, this year it seems Frank and Noelene are in for a real fright, as one group of local kids hit the streets dressed as respectful and moderate Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islands community leaders and academics, who have a simple request to recognise Indigenous Australians in the Constitution, while also enshrining a Parliamentary Advisory body.
While this group of children have only been visiting households with decorations, they mistook a decaying organge Vote No-To-Division sign the Stoolwrights left out for council clean up as the scariest Halloween display they had seen so far.
“It’s happening Frank, they’re coming for their la-for our land, they’re coming for our land!” screamed Noelene, peering through the thinnest of gaps in their curtains.
“Close the door Frank! They’re still out there! They haven’t even gotten over it! They’re still going on about it! This! They still want to divide us!”
Frank rushes to the front door to fix the security chain and deadlock.
He leans back against the door, puffing, before sliding to the floor in an exhausted heap.
“Why can’t they just get over it!!!” he roars at the ceiling, as the black abyss of generational guilt gnaws at the inside of his soul.
“WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THE HORRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THIS COUNTRY DURING MY LIFETIME THAT DIRECTLY BENEFITED ME AT THE DETRIMENT OF OTHERS!”
Noelene sobs on the couch.
“Oh Frank!” she wails.
“They said if we voted no, we’d never have to think about them ever again.”
“They haven’t gone anywhere… Now they’ve indoctrinated our young ones!!! When will it end!!!”
MORE TO COME.