A local loudmouth and downright degenerate landscaper has once again had another crack at talking about rub and tugs in front of the other subcontractors at a South Betoota worksite today.

Keith Keithington (60) has come in strong with a story about how he paid an illegal sex worker to give him a hand job while visiting an discreet shop front in a nearby light industrial district.

“Not bad” he says to the uncomfortable younger blokes he has never met before.

“But not as good as Pattaya haha”

Like many dodgy units around the country, Keith’s entire identity is based around the problematic hedonism he takes part in during his annual pilgrimage to the red light districts of Phuket.

Except this bloody virus has been a real spanner in the works.

“Spewing” he says.

“It’s been like, what, 18 months?”

“I’m stinging”

With a lack of recent Thailand stories to share at smoko, Keith has had to look for other ways to big note.

This usually means anyone working with him is exposed to yarns about his rampant gambling and a never-ending stream of possibly made-up biffs.

After trying time and time again to normalise his obsession with ‘happy endings’ – Keith is met with looks of confusion and concern on the faces of his coworkers – many of whom are married and not big on the dodgy massage parlour scene.

While the surrounding tradesmen wonder why he doesn’t just visit one of the many legal brothels in downtown Betoota, Keith then launches into another yarn about Thailand.

“Ever been to Thailand?” he asks one of the young fellas, again.

“I’m stinging haha”


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