A real estate agent has today failed to see the irony of the ‘Justify your existence’ bumper sticker he has on the back of his Land Rover, which serves as both a token of his upbringing and a sign to anyone within viewing distance that he must be avoided at all costs.

Oliver Erikson [22] reportedly left his hometown for the big smoke at the tender age of eighteen, where he was quickly roped into agency work by his greasy uncle.

With no child of his own, Uncle Aaron had been keen for a protegee he could inflict his sardonic world views on and groom to become a smaller albeit slightly less greasy version of himself.

Like Mufasa and Simba overlooking the prairie, all it had taken was for Uncle Azza to brandish a thickly jewelled hand at his BMW and whisper ‘one day, this will all be yours’, and Oliver had instantly become hooked.

Now four years later and with a wanker mobile of his very own, Oliver has immersed himself so deeply into the real estate agent culture that he’s almost forgotten his roots as a latch key kid from the ponds – save for the giant bogan decal sticker taking up half his Land Rovers back windscreen.

The quote, made notably famous by author George Bernard Shaw and philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, has somehow gone from pursuing one’s meaning in life to the slogan of a motorcycle apparel company.

If Oliver had paused to reflect on it, he’d likely have gleaned that there was nothing particularly noble about his profession and that a life filled with nothing but shallow pursuits makes for a meaningless existence – thus causing him to fall into a deep, painful depression.

Luckily for Oliver, he’s a real estate agent so he’s not capable of that level of self-introspection… if any at all.

More to come.


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