ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As Paul Keating famously said during a speech to the UN back in 1993, Australia is so rich that everyone will own a juicer at some point in their lives.

Today, his vision for the future has almost become a reality.

However, in a report commissioned by the Australian Council Of Juice and Juicers [ACJJ], it’s become apparent that this great Australian dream of juicer ownership is now turning into a nightmare.

Each Christmas, the tradition of gifting juicers has resulted in tumbling rates in which they’re used.

Almost 90% are tragically used once before being dumped in the back of a pantry or cupboard.

“It makes for disturbing reading,” said ACJJ chairperson Meredith Dalton.

“We make these juicers to bring joy into the lives of everyday people. Except, the report says they rarely do anymore. They just get in the way in today’s world,”

“It’s sad nobody has the time anymore to make their own juice. And from what I understand, cleaning the machine is a serious pain in the arse. That could have something to do with it. The report failed to answer many questions, it only made me sad.”

The Advocate spoke to a number of local juicer owners, many of which decided against going on the record against the large and powerful juicer lobby.

One brave soul picked the gauntlet up that our reporters threw down.

Danny Broche, an arguably-employed bartender that works nights, explained candidly to The Advocate that his morning regime often includes making his own juice.

“They’re right,” he said.

“A juicer can be a real bitch to clean. Have you ever put a mango through a juicer? There’s more hair at the bottom of it than Gary Sweet’s shower drain! But you simply can’t purchase the freshness and quality in store,”

“I was born a juiceman and I’ll die a juiceman. Tonight we juice, tomorrow we sip.”

More to come.

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