ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A popular local dog has revealed to The Advocate this afternoon that though he looks like he’s enjoying himself when he’s taken for a run – he doesn’t actually like it that much.

Bruce, a 10-year-old male canine of mix appearance, told our reporters that some days he just feels like taking it easy.

“There are so many things I want to do while I’m out and about,” he said with the help of a local dog translator.

“Like investigate a smell here, try to eat something I shouldn’t there. My life is a carnival but not when I’m being dragged through the French Quarter by my neck. There are times, granted, when I’d like to go for a bit of a burn and really go for top speed,”

“But I’m like 70-years-old in your universe. How many half-deaf and half-blind septuagenarian humans do you see get dragged by their throat up Grosvenor Road? Fucking none that’s how many.”

None the less, when our reporters finally caught up with Geraldine Douge, Bruce’s owner, to ask her if she thinks Bruce still likes going for runs, she said yes.

While Mrs Douge concedes that Bruce might be getting on a bit, she said that doesn’t mean his exercise regime should suffer.

“I don’t want him to get overweight and put stress on his back and hips,” she said.

A fair point.

“I used to take him down to the weir at the Grove Street Gardens for a swim, which’d be better for his hips, but all the geese down there are so territorial and unwilling to share the space,”

“They hiss and snap at Bruce. Then when I go to shoo them away, the bastards they turn on me!”

More to come.


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