LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

In an interconnected world that has seen comedy become a faster moving industry than ever before, dads of Australia are grateful that some classics never die.

A father of six/staunch keeper of dad joke traditions, Graham Aslop (68) claims his time-tested tummy ticklers are the pride of his family.

“Any time a kid gets in the way of the TV I’ll say ‘oi so & so, you’re a pain, but you’re not made of glass!’” stated Aslop, before beginning a solid three uninterrupted minutes of laughter.

“I’ve got plenty of jokes about the unemployed, but they never work!”

“Bit like my youngest…”

Classic gear aside, Aslop is also proud of his second generation of dad jokes which he attributes to his timeless wit and not the boomer cartoons he steals them from.

Although Aslop has had a few hit jokes about Smart Cars (which he cleverly nicknamed ‘dumb cars’) in the mid noughties, it is his vegan daughter Mel (23) who has provided him with the bulk of his recent material.

“What I don’t get about almond milk, is how do they milk those little almonds?” asked Aslop with a personal volume that compensated for the lack of laughter that wasn’t his own.

“Do they have secret little almond titties that we don’t know about? That doesn’t sound very ethical haha!”

According to Mel Aslop, her dad has been non-stop with jokes about her vegan lifestyle since she became vegan two years ago.

“It’s mostly about the milks. He does the same joke about rice, cashew and oat milk,” stated young Aslop, as her dad mimed milking almonds from a fictional set of miniscule almond udders. 

“I know I should be grateful my dad is healthy…His dad had already died of a stroke by his age…But fuck I wish he would shut up about the fucking almond milk.”

Witnesses report Aslop then explained to her dad how almond milk is made by soaking almonds in water and blending which led to Graham jovially responding how vegans are always ‘such good sports when it comes to jokes.’


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