Fans Mourn As Jarryd Hayne Is Violently Flogged To Death By FoxSports

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact

[dropcap][/dropcap]JARRYD Hayne’s stint at the San Francisco 49ers looks to be at an end today, with the US media giving mixed views about his readiness for the NFL after witnessing him being beat to death by Australian-based sport network, FoxSports overnight.

It seems the 27-year old former-rugby league golden child died overnight after FoxSports published the 18th Hayne-related article this month.

“The Hayne Plane” as he is known in NRL clubland, suffered critical blows to both his body and career after the article titled “362 things Jarryd Hayne needs to do before he can even be considered a likely candidate for the 49ers starting line-up” was published at 19:32 last night.

“The onslaught was obvious, they were flogging him as as hard as they could. They killed him,” said Jarryd Hayne’s pastor, Brian Houston.

“Here he was, quietly working on the next phase of his career. But FoxSports wouldn’t let go of him…”

Jarryd Hayne died at approximately 20:02 last night after receiving phone calls from Channel Nine News, The Daily Telegraph, FoxSports 1, FoxSports 2, SkySports, The NRL Footy Show and in a hilarious twist… Channel Seven News – all chasing the latest news regarding this man’s personal and professional life.

Diehard Parramatta Eels fan, Bevan Westy, says all of Hayne’s supporters back in Australia could see it happening.

“We were just waiting quietly to see if he would end up back at our club. Good on him for giving the NFL a go, but no one in Australia could honestly tell if he would make it”

“All of a sudden FoxSports start this incessant stream of NFL articles. Criticising Jarryd, praising Jarryd, questioning Jarryd, interviewing Jarryd, interviewing friends of Jarryd, interviewing irrelevant Australians that played one season in the NFL thirty years ago…”

“They couldn’t get enough of him, they flogged him to death”

It is unclear at this point whether or not Jarryd Hayne’s funeral will take place in the US or back in Australia, however, The Parramatta Eels have already put their hands up to pay for all costs involved.

It is believed FoxSports will make a bid this afternoon for all rights to live coverage of the ceremony.