CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Millions of Queenslanders are currently waiting in nervous silence for the arrival of Tropical Cyclone Alfred, as the category 2 weather event drags out it’s inevitable landfall in the state’s South-East.
This once in a generation phenomena has been tormenting south-east Queensland and northern New South Wales for an entire week, with a Tuesday arrival being pushed back to Friday night.
While the delay has also given Queenslanders time to prepare themselves and take this whole thing seriously, it seems now that everything that could be done – has been done.
With every bit of outdoor furniture tied down, and every low-lying ground floor sandbagged. Queenslanders are now starting to twiddle their thumbs.
This eery silence has caused emergency experts to beg the people of South-East Queensland to please not be complacent.
State Premier David Crisafulli fronted a press conference moments ago urging everyone to please resist their inherent Queensland urge to hit the streets for a bit of a look around.
“Now is not the time for a ‘look around’ – Now is not the time to ‘hang out’ – just please be where you need to be and stop letting your beautiful Queensland curiosity get the better of you”
The Betoota Advocate spoke to one Brisbane resident who was doing the wrong thing earlier.
“Yeah. Just feels weird. You know. With the streets empty on a Friday arvo” says Rosalie based baker’s assistant, Milton Normanby (37).
“Thought I’d go for a look”
Our reporter ended up engaging in an entertaining but ultimately pointless twenty-seven minute conversation with Milton about nothing in particular other than the weather and the Broncos performance over the Sydney Roosters last night, before he suggested that it was probably worth checking to see if they could fit a schooner in.
“Fuck. Why not?” said Milton.
“I reckon we’ll find a pub that’s open”
The Betoota Advocate’s 25-year-old Brisbane field reporter then made a phone call to editor-at-large, Errol Parker, and asked if it’d be okay if went to the pub with this bloke Milton – if they could find one that was open.
The field reporter was told to pull their fucken head in and find some shelter. Errol Parker said this message should also be relayed to Milton, whoever he is.
