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Portia Princes (33) has been suffering from a dry cough and headache all week.
However, she can’t imagine someone like her, as a corporate creative Melbournite who lives in one of those suburbs that are hard for people outside of Victoria to pronounce correctly, could possibly have the dreaded coronavirus.
“Yeah, ummmm… I don’t know if you know much about Prahran darling, but we don’t have too many of those public housing blocks” she giggles between coughs.
“But yeah. I could have easily run into one of ‘them’ accidentally”
“UberEats drivers, waiters… I was actually just going about life normally before they second wave”
However, due to the fact that she has to visit her grandmother tomorrow to borrow her 4WD for an illegal camping trip in the Grampians this weekend, Portia has been strongly urged by her family members to visit her local drive-thru coronavirus testing centre.
Portia says this is all a bit of a storm in a teacup, but like, whatever.
“It hurt so much” she says after pulling out of the backed up lane of cars at her nearby shopping centre.
“But I spose, I needed to pick up a few things today anyway, so it’s timed well”
Portia’s little trip to the local supermarket comes after two more Victorians died from the virus, while the state records its highest number of new cases since the start of the pandemic, 484.
Premier Daniel Andrews has revealed alarming data showing Victorians are not self-isolating while feeling ill and waiting for the result of their COVID-19 test.
Andrews said of 3810 people between July 7-21, about 90 per cent did not isolate between the first onset of symptoms and getting tested.
About 50 per cent did not isolate in the period between getting tested and receiving a result.
After walking through her local deli for a bit of a browse, and inspecting the softness of every single avocado on display with bare hands, Portia is now one of these statistics.
“I’ll just wash my hands when I get home” she sighs.
“Wait, actually that reminds me. I need to buy some fingernail moisturiser”
“And some milk”
“Actually. I should pick up a loaf of bread too”
At time of press, Portia was also eyeing off her local butcher, as a thin film of sweat developed across her forehead.
